Call me David

I’m pretty relaxed about my name. I’ve got few hang-ups when it comes to people using my first name, this might to some degree be due to the time I’ve worked for American companies , although I do draw some lines. I certainly don’t expect people to call me mister just because of my age.

So where are my lines, I reckon there’s just two of them and the first is when there’s a B2C relationship ie one between a company and me as an individual. My attitude is that if you want to do business with me you need to earn the right to be familiar.

The other line is children. I think it’s probably right that when small children first meet an adult they recognise that it’s not a meeting of equals and a little formality is appropriate.

The French and, especially, German languages of course have formality baked in. It’s vous or Sie until you know the person really well when tu or du is allowed. This step might of course take some time and it was only after a good ten years that some of our Swiss neighbours accepted that it was time to become familiar.

I did lots of business with German companies and when the meeting was in English it would use first names but if it was in German we’d stay with Herr and Frau. I remember one time when we were heading into one meeting which would take place in English two of the German attendees needed to learn their respective first names because they’d never used them before.

The other time that formality entered my life was when I became a councillor and realised that within the council it was expected that officers would address councillors as such. So I became Councillor Jenkins.

But … that’s not what’s prompted this post. I have two given names and am in the not insubstantial minority of people who are called by their second given name.

Lots of institutions would like to change this, witness forms that you fill in which specifically ask for your first name and nothing else, and the standard practice in the US of forms requiring a first name and middle initial. This results in all those people cold calling me and asking to speak to John Jenkins. But that gives me another reason for not wanting to engage in any dialogue with them.

Just this week though one of my suppliers of a service, and one of whom I am well disposed, must have changed its policy because two of the people with whom I engaged called me John. I corrected them and they were fortunately able to change me on their computer system but it was discordant. These were people who did know me well and with whom I was quite happy to engage on ‘first name’ terms but quite clearly were at risk of damaging our relationship because their new policy had not been thought through.

So: if your in business and want to engage with potential new customers treat them with respect and a little formality. Then when you know each other well it’s OK to be familiar but please be sensitive when dealing with people with more than one given name.