My big eye test

A year or so ago I had my eyes tested. I get it done every two years and this time it meant getting new lenses. But that’s incidental, what was significant was that the lady who conducted my test told me that my right eye had developed an epiretinal membrane (ERM).

According to the RNIB website ‘ERM can affect vision if this sheet of cells starts to shrink, causing the retina to wrinkle up under it. This wrinkling of the retina can then cause distortion and blurring of your vision, as well as a possible reduction in your level of sight (how far down the letter chart you are able to read)’.

The NHS was informed, noted my condition and told me that it would be some time before it got round to seeing me. And today that’s what happened.

it was an 0845 appointment at Addenbrooke’s and I was told that I should not plan on driving myself home because drops are used which would dilate my pupils and leave me with blurred vision for some hours.

I got there early and was told to wait in waiting area 1. I was quickly seen by Carol who gave me a quick eye test starting with my right eye which I found to be a bit of a challenge. She then got me to repeat the test with a perforated screen in front of the eye which rather surprisingly seemed to improve matters. I had not difficulty with my left eye, no perforated screen deemed necessary. Carol directed me to waiting area 2.

It was all very calm with maybe 20 people in total waiting. There was a three generation family group, a big bopper look alike unsurprisingly called Wayne and a tattooed couple who went to every consultation together. Otherwise it was blokes in my age bracket. Strange.

Joy called me for the administration of the dreaded drops. I got two in each eye and Joy warned me that the second might sting. It did and at that stage I was most comfortable with my eyes closed. But the sting eased and I retuned to sit down with a view on a blurrier world.

My next consultation was with Kim who took photographs, first with a camera like those used in opticians and then with a bigger and, I guess, better and more expensive piece of Nikon kit.

The consultants started to roll in at 0900 (or a little later) and soon after I got the call from Dr Phil. Actually Mr Philip Alexander, consultants don’t call themselves doctors for some reason, who’s got an impressive CV. He’s got another piece of kit and he warned me that he wouldn’t hurt me but that there would be a very bright light (which sounds rather biblical).

There’s good news he said, following the bad news of a wait for nearly 12 months before today’s appointment, the ERM scar was clearly there on the photograph which the lady at the opticians took but it’s gone. It sometimes happens he said and whereas if he’d seen it earlier he might have been inclined to operate to remove it now there was no point. Bravo!

However he did confirm that I have cataracts in both eyes and they’d need attention some time, but I’d know when and a biannual eye check was frequent enough.

So that was it. No immediate problems. Time for a coffee.

I headed over to Costa where there was good news, no queue, and bad news, you order from a kiosk which isn’t too easy with blurred vision. However it registers me paying at 0934 which means less than an hour for the Carol, Joy, Kim and Phil show. Well done the NHS.